The Change

My time in Oz has been unexpectedly cut short. Rather than leaving in early December I will now be leaving in early October. Since my time is limited, I'm using my last 6 weeks in this fabulous country to travel and explore as much as possible. In this last week alone I've done the Great Ocean Road and Wilson's Prom. Later this week I'm leaving for Alice Springs and Darwin. And during my last couple of weeks I hope to check off some more local locations and day trips.

The first few days after I found out about this massive change, I'll admit, I was a wreck. My brain had little to no time to process what took place and what it meant for my immediate future plans and my plans over the next few months. It all happened so quickly. I used those first few days to work through my thoughts and emotions and try to process everything. I used the next couple of days after that to spend extra time in quiet conversation with God asking lots of questions and working on handing the whole situation over to him.

By early to mid week I made the choice to take the first step forward - decide when I'd be going home. I couldn't change what happened, so it was time to make the best of the cards I'd been dealt. I had choices to make about how to play my cards. My dates were limited because I wanted to use points to fly home so I only had a few options:

• Leave ASAP - I would have been home with family, which would make dealing with all of this much easier, but it felt like running away from the situation rather than dealing with it and I think in the end I would have regretted this decision. 
• Leave Right After My Big Trip - This would have allowed me time to work through the situation, go on a few short trips and go on my big trip that I had already booked and paid for, however, it would have been hectic leaving just after the big trip and I didn't want my last few days to be spent on a tour with people I didn't know, I wanted to end it with the people who have supported me and encouraged me during my time here - my Compass family.
• Leave October 8th - This date was a couple weeks after my big trip, but a few days before my Aussie family got back from their trips. It would allow me to go on my trip and have a couple weeks to spend time with my friends, but I wouldn't get the chance to say goodbye to my Aussie family.
• Leave October 22nd - This date would have allowed me to do all of the above as well as see my Aussie family one last time, but it is a long time to bounce around to different people's houses and it would just be unnecessarily delaying me going home. Not to mention that's a long time to have no income.

Before I even knew about these date options, I couldn't get "the 8th" off my mind. I didn't know why it was there or what it meant or anything like that. After a lot of pros and cons and talking it over with people and praying about it, October 8th was decided on as the day I'd leave this beautiful country and these marvelous people and head home to family. I've come to terms with what has happened and realize that sooner or later this was going to happen anyways, it's just happening 2 months earlier than originally planned. I'm actually very excited about going home. I'll be home in time for my niece's first birthday, apple picking, corn mazes, bridesmaid dress fittings, Thanksgiving, my sister's 19th birthday, and so much more. I've missed out on a lot of stuff back home over the last 15 months and I'm ready to be back. With that being said, leaving so early doesn't come without its difficulties. I'll be saying goodbye to Joan and Ian (my mom and dad away from my mom and dad) later this week when they leave for a massive month long trip and I will be leaving before Nikki returns from Europe. I also only have 2 Sundays left at Compass and very limited time with my friends. I'm just using this as a reason to have to come back though, which isn't a problem with me, because I love this place and I love these people.

In addition to my friends and family back home (particularly my parents who had way to many early morning and late night phone calls from me), my Compass family has been amazing since this all happened. They have supported me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually and they continue to do so. If it weren't for my Compass family I would have had to leave right away and I would have missed out on all the adventures and memories that were still waiting for me. And I would have left Australia with an extremely low note, souring all my experiences and memories.

As for how I'm doing now and the head space I'm in - I don't believe the way this happened and everything went down was part of God's plan, but I do believe that He can take what seems like an awful, sucky, messy, draining situation and turn it around to work for my (and His) good. And let me tell you, I have already seen Him orchestrate things in my favor in the past couple of weeks. I've been on 2 great trips, I've made an amazing new friend, I've spent lots of extra time with my Aussie family that I never would have gotten, I am also getting lots of extra time with other friends/families from my church, I've been able to use what I just went through to help a friend of mine deal with something she's going through, and for the first time in quite some time I am focusing on me and I am in a much happier and healthier state of mind.

Where to from here? I'm going to continue catching up with friends, going on trips, exploring, and doing whatever I possibly can to make the most out of my last 4 weeks here. I'll be home the night of October 8th. For the first couple of weeks I plan to take it easy and focus on myself, my family, my friends, and of course my Munkie. I'm not sure what I'll end up doing work wise, but what I'd like to do is be a full-time live-out nanny in the general area so I can stay at home. I've been looking and will continue looking until I find something or until a different opportunity arises. Part of me wishes things here didn't have to end so quickly, so soon, or the way they ended, but another part of me is extremely excited about what is coming next for me. As my wise, dear, old dad recently advised me to - I'll just enjoy the rest of this season while God prepares the next one for me.