Host Mama Drama

As many of you may have read on facebook, Jen and I have just not been getting along lately. While I posted quite a few times about her attitude, words, short remarks, etc... I'm sure if she had a facebook and vented on it like I do, then she would have several posts about my attitude, words, short remarks, etc. During a chat with my mom I finally admitted that I was at just as much fault as Jen was. There were moments when I could have spoken a bit kinder or responded a bit more professionally. In chatting with my mom I came to realize that Jen and I both have a lot going on in our minds right now. Neither of our brains are present in the current moment we are both a week or so ahead where I'm home (my brain) and no longer at the house to help out (Jen's brain). We are both a little tense and it is coming out in our interactions towards each other because of how much time we spend together. I was venting a bit, problem solving, and resolving while I was Skyping with my mom. Unfortunately while the venting portion was taking place I heard Jen upstairs and it was already too late... I had said way more than I ever intended her to hear. My mom and I talked and decided this was a good opportunity to bring up the miscommunication, shortness, and just plain strangeness going on between the two of us. I said, "I love you, bye" to my mom and then Jen was at my door and scared the mess out of me. The following is what took place:

Me: So... I don't know how much of that conversation you just heard, but
Jen: I love you, bye. That was all I heard.
Me: Yeah, but earlier when you were up here.
Jen: Oh... I wasn't... I was just in the attic...
Me: Well, either way, I want to apologize for any shortness or attitude (at this point I think both of our eyes were watering) you may have heard or sensed over the past couple of days. I just feel like there is a weird vibe and miscommunication going on between us. I don't mean any of it personally. I know that our minds are just reeling with stuff and aren't here right now.
Jen: (opened her arms) Hug. (we hugged) You're right. My brain is not even thinking about right now it's way ahead of now to when you're gone and I'm sure yours is already at home.

We continued to chat for just a short minute longer apologizing for our fair share in the shortness and attitudes, explaining where the behavior is coming from, etc. Then we went right back to our usual work conversation about who is picking up who when and doing what.

The entire time we were talking it seemed as though we were both on the very edge of tears. I'm not sure if it was because she needed my apology, because she was glad to know why I was acting the way I was, because she needed someone to validate her feelings, because I was making it easy for her to apologize... I don't know what it was, but I know whatever it was it was what she needed, and that's what really matters.

Look, it's just a fact of life that the two of us are going to drive each other nuts at times. No matter who you live with there are going to be things the other person does that aggravate the mess out of you. You are going to have moments when you just can't stand the other person. Jen and I are in each other's company and space more than 2 people really ever should be. Even if we aren't in the same room we are still in the same house from sun up to sun down Monday - Friday and sometimes on the weekends and that is too much time for any 2 people to be together. However, amidst all the aggravation, Jen and I really do care for each other. I go above and beyond my job at times, continuing to deal with the children's excuses and requests well after bed time and my off time, cramming in extra stuff during my work hours just so she doesn't have to do it, straightening and cleaning before taking the kids to school when I could be eating breakfast, etc. And she lets me have my moments when I need a quick 5 minute break, she waits on me hand and foot after spending the night in the hospital, she waits up if I forget to text and tell her I'm not coming back until way later in the night, etc etc.

The bottom line is I am immensely blessed to have Jen as my host mom during my time here in Australia. I am pleased we are going to get a break from each other though and that I'll be able to come back and we can both feel refreshed and ready to start new in June. In a way I wish I could retract the things I wrote on facebook, and I could technically delete them, but it doesn't change the fact that so many people already read it. I am just as guilty as she is for the rudeness and short remarks. I am glad that we were able to talk about it, get it out in the open, and can finish off this section of time on a positive note with each other.
It felt only right to write this post to remind myself and tell everyone else just how great of a host mom Jen is and how thankful I am for her.