He Uses Bad For Good

     Around 9:00 this morning I was playing in the playroom with Ben and got a notification that someone had written on my wall on facebook so while checking that I decided to do a quick scroll through of my newsfeed (I do this so I can do several short scroll throughs rather than one or two very long ones). As I was scrolling through I came across a status written by my aunt regarding the passing of a few of her family members over the past several months. At the end of the first sentence was, "and now an aunt". I immediately called my mom to find out what was going on. She told me that my great aunt had passed due to a couple different things, but then my mom had to hang up because she was out to dinner. Unexpectedly, I immediately started crying. I haven't seen my great aunt in a couple years and we weren't exactly "close", but for some reason this just hit and hit hard.
     I stepped out of the playroom to try and collect myself (since I wasn't in the mood to explain death to a 3 year old) and figure out just why I was so upset and this is what I figured: 1) I had no idea that she had been sick so this was entirely unexpected. 2) The fact that I am physically so far away from the situation is uncomfortable. 3) My hormones are all out of whack from being in a new environment, eating new foods, etc. and 4) One of my biggest fears about coming to Australia was that something would happen to someone back home while I was away. The fact that one of my biggest fears had actually happened was extremely unsettling. I couldn't get passed, "but it happened once it could happen again" (and could possibly be even worse). A little while later I went back into the playroom still teary eyed, but managing to hold myself together. Shortly after Jen came in to tell me the plans for the day and immediately picked up on the fact that something was wrong. When she asked if I was okay I responded no. She then asked what was wrong and I told her. She immediately put her arms out and hugged me for some time as I cried. During this time, among every thing else going on, I sent a quick thank you up to God for sending me to the right family during my stay in Australia. She then asked a few more questions about the situation, asked if I wanted to step out to try and call my family, and told me when she got back from the vet I would have the rest of the day off. (Amazing right?)
     I chose to carry on with my regular duties for about another hour or so to make it easier on them. Around 11:30 I talked with my mom and dad for a bit about what happened, how I was feeling, etc and of course they gave awesome parental advice: "Whether you are here or there you aren't going to be able to change or prevent anything that happens to anyone" and "Stop trying to justify the way you feel. You don't have to give reasons. Sometimes different things affect people differently and that's just that. Just accept that this is the way you feel right now." I also got some encouraging messages and things from family and friends back home. I also sent out a text to the girls from my church here to ask for prayer for the friends and family affected by this and for prayer for me since it seemed to be affecting me so much and to calm any doubts and fears that were popping up.
     Around 12:30 I went downstairs to leave for a walk and fill Jen and Daniel in on what information I had learned about my great aunt's death. Jen told me if I wanted company over later that I could certainly do that. She told me that I needed to know that this home is just as much mine as it is theirs (sweet right?). I left for a walk to the local post office, grocery store, and ATM. A few minutes into my walk (in gorgeous, warm weather) I saw a sweet little tree with beautiful pink buds and God reminded me that He hasn't left me on this journey alone and never will. Throughout my walk I got a reply from each of the girls from my church here telling me to let them know if there was anything they could do. The amazing thing about these girls is that they hardly even know me and I them, but I know that these are not empty offers. The hearts God has blessed these girls with is absolutely outstanding. They are constantly going out of their way to make me (and other newcomers) feel welcomed, loved, and settled. Again, God reminded me I was in the right place with the right people.
     I got home around 1:30 ate a big ol' blueberry muffin and had some Lindt hot chocolate outside on the patio because the weather was gorgeous. Jen, tired as all get out from Joseph (the baby), took over my duties from 1:30 - 3 or so. I then played with Ben until about 4 so Jen could cook. Around 4 or so Daniel came home with Michelle (he picked her up from school so I didn't have to) and came right into the playroom and offered to take over. I came up to my room, turned on my Christian Zune playlist and sang to Him while I worked on a project in my room. It's wonderful how praising Him and spending time with Him can calm your heart, mind, and spirit in an instant. Michelle came up to my room at about 5:15 just to see me and told me I had nice music and starting dancing to it. I initially thought to change it, but then decided that she was in my room, and if questions came up later or something I would discuss it with the parents.
     I went downstairs for dinner at 5:30 and it was safe to assume all of my duties were excused for the evening because dinner was already served, the dad said he was doing bath, and I didn't have to do any homework or book reading. Jen walked towards me with her arms open for a hug and then declared that this (hugging) must happen more often. They also offered me tomorrow off, but I told them I would like to work, which they were fine with of course. Jen told me if I need a break at some point tomorrow that I am to take one. I stayed up for an hour and a half after the kids went to bed just chatting with Jen and Daniel.
     Among all the emotions and what took place today, God managed to use it as an opportunity to remind me of His presence in all situations. He also used it as an opportunity to remind me that this journey while it is my journey, He is not only taking it with me but has prepared the best family, church, and group of girls for me to support me and encourage me during my stay here.
     While I am not holding on to the "what if" thoughts... I am demanding that each and everyone of you back home better take darn good care of yourselves and make some seriously smart and safe choices for the next several months! Save the car racing, bungee jumping, and sky diving for after I'm back in the US!!