Perfect Day Wrecked

Last day of the work week and it started in rain. Ugh... one of those days? Nope, the kids were outstanding this morning and in bubbly, fun moods. Dropped both of them off at school and had the rest of the morning and afternoon to myself.

I spent the earlier part of the morning making plans for the weekend. By 10:00 the weather had cleared, the sun was shining, and the temperature was up. Then I met with my Compass Pastor in a cafe for a drink and a chat (what came from this meeting will be in a post in a couple weeks or so). I sat outside and chatted with my ma for quite awhile. When I got home I made lunch and then sat outside in the sun with Jen and Joseph. Could this morning and afternoon be any better?! At 3:00 it was time to go get Michelle.

When I saw Michelle at school she had the biggest smile on her face and was in an amazing mood. I bought her an icy pole and asked her what she wanted to do. She wanted to stay and play on the school playground with the other kids while she ate her icy pole, so that's what we did. After playing for awhile and finishing her icy pole she asked for something else to eat. Forgetting that she was getting an icy pole after school, for afternoon tea I packed a lizard (which is like a sugary chewy fruit thing). When she asked, I gave it to her anyway. She played a bit longer and then asked for something else to eat... all I had left was a chocolate chip chewy granola bar. I looked in her lunch box to discover she hadn't eaten her carrot salad Jen packed for her, so I told her she had to eat that first. Reluctantly she ate about half... then with the cutest, sneakiest smirk she said to me, "My icy pole compartment is full. My lizard compartment is full. And my carrot salad compartment is full... but my chocolate chip granola bar compartment is empty... sooo... can I have some?" I couldn't resist her eyes paired with her smile, paired with her adorable, cheeky, 6 year old logic so of course I gave in and let her have it (but only half). By 5:00 we were the last people left on the school playground. When we got to the car there were some beautiful blooming trees and Michelle asked if she could pick a couple flowers off. I let her and then she hopped in the car, turned around and faced outward, and then told me to come to her. Confused, I did. She told me to bend down a bit, so I did. Next thing I know she is putting one the of the flowers in my hair behind my ear. Then and there my whole heart melted. So then I picked two flowers and put one in each of her pigtails. The smile on her face and here giggles are why I do the job I do. 

Michelle and I really needed this one on one time together. For my first couple of weeks here I was the new family toy. Once Michelle realized what my role entailed though, moments like these were few and far between. A lot of my job requires me to tell Michelle what to do and what not to do and rush her here and there. I think we both miss our one on one time together where we can do whatever she wants and just let her be a 6 year old. This was seriously good bonding time for the both of us.

We picked up Ben who was also in a wonderful mood (except for the slight melt down when he saw Michelle drinking out of his water bottle, but that was quickly handled by asking him to use his words and then refilling his water bottle). Then I moved the car down the parking lot a bit so it was closer to the library. We went in, returned our books, and spent about 30 minutes just reading, smiling, laughing, and picking out books to take home (22 to be exact). We checked out, went to the car, got buckled up, reversed and then SMASH!!!!

A lady and I backed into each other reversing out of our parking spots. Just like that... a perfect day ruined...   First things first, I made sure the kids were okay and then handed them some books to read and asked them to just sit there and look at the books until I came back. I told them I reversed into someone else's car but that everything was okay, I would just be right outside the car if they needed me, but told them I preferred they stay in the car. Luckily, no one was hurt and the kids were practically unaware that anything had even happened. I got out of the car still in shock until I saw the damage and then, immediate tears. I called Jen, first words out of my mouth were that we were all okay and then I told her I was in an accident. She calmly told me to take some deep breaths, tell her what happened, etc. She said to me, "You are okay. The kids are okay. The other person is okay. That's all that matters. The rest is just metal". She kept telling me that this happens all the time and it could have happened to anyone - my response? "Yeah, but it didn't, it happened to me." She offered to drive over to the library and pick us all up, but with all the trouble I'd already caused and was bound to come from this later, I definitely didn't want her to have to come get us too. I took pictures and exchanged information with the lady. I finally got myself together and hung up with Jen to drive home. I got in the car to find both Ben and Michelle just quietly reading books. I said something to them about what had happened and their only response was - "Can I have another book?" These kids... I am so grateful for these kids. They are amazing. 

When we made it home, the kids got out of the car and got their bags as soon as I asked them and went to the door just like I asked them (again, these kids, are outstanding). The kids grandfather let them in the house as Jen came out. With tears in my eyes, all I could say was, "I'm sorry." She immediately hugged me and just repeated the same things as before - everyone's okay, it's fixable, could have been so much worse, could have happened to anyone, etc. At some point we collected the books, challah, etc from the car and walked inside. Daniel was there... Great! Another person whose response I was concerned about... The first thing he said? "The most important question is: Is the challah okay?" All of this didn't change how mad I was at myself, but it did help that they weren't mad at me as well. 

I couldn't help but think if only I hadn't of hurried Ben out of the library doors, if only Michelle had been one second quicker putting on her shoes, if only I had let them look at books half a minute longer... I've only been here for 3 months and I've already had an accident, seriously?! Not that I haven't reversed out of a parking spot in this lot around 65 times since I've been here and never had this happen. A brand new, imported, uber expensive car that I've been entrusted with and I back into someone (already). They have been letting me drive the Prius to places lately that I need to go that aren't related to the job and I didn't want to lose that privilege. I also don't want them thinking, "Oh great, this is what we have to look forward to." And now, it's already happened once and I have 7 more months to go to make sure it doesn't happen again. Not to mention, I will be saying goodbye to at least a paycheck or two to cover the excess/deductible with the insurance company. In addition to all this, if I'm cited as the accident being my fault, the insurance will go up in cost. What I'm most scared about... Jen said, "It's a good thing you learned how to drive the manual because you can just drive that while the Prius is in the shop". Uh... Really not sure how I feel about driving the manual in school traffic and with all the hills and the kids screaming in the back... Anyways...

I went upstairs to just process and be alone for a few minutes and got a call from Georgina. I can't tell you how nice it was to hear a familiar friendly voice with sweet words of encouragement and support. Yes, Jen and Daniel did the same, but I couldn't help but think in the back of their mind what else they might be thinking about me and what just happened. Through my chat with Georgina I got out of my funk enough to enjoy the rest of my evening, which was a very nice evening indeed. 

Why this one ridiculous, terrible thing had to happen in the middle of what would have been my perfect day, I don't know. But at this point I am making a conscious decision to thank God for everything else in the day that was perfect (because the day could have been a total blow all together, which would have been even worse), everyone's safety, the children's calmness, my Aussie family's reassurance and calm response, friends to talk me out of my "What Ifs", and the lack of severity. I am also making a conscious decision to stop dwelling on what happened, stop worrying about the cost, and just move on and be proactive in fixing it. Stuff happens.