Weekend #7 - Ups and Downs

Overall, I would say this was an absolutely fantastic weekend... with a few minor bumps in the road. I got time out of my house, I worked on my manual driving skills, I spent time with friends, I spent time in His Word, church was wonderful, etc. So what was the bump? I cried for the first time since leaving the US.

Friday: Normal morning with the kids. Normal (entirely unproductive) morning/afternoon off. Bonus afternoon off since Jen wanted to do the pick up. I was prepared to have to take Michelle and Ben to music class after that, but the dad came home early and offered to take them. So essentially I was only on duty for 2 hours in the morning and had the rest of the day off. I took the opportunity to do some Bible study, get caught up in uploading and organizing all of my photos from Australia so far, do some Sudoku puzzles, chat with Jen, and sit in the sun in the living room and watch TV. For the beginning of the Friday evening festivities I went to my room to do some Bible study. *I'm learning I don't have to be downstairs and around simply because extended family/friends are here.* I participated in Shabbat, but then spent the rest of the night in my room.

Saturday: I Skyped with my mom, dad, and both brothers at the same time!!! I absolutely loved having all of them at the same place at the same time for a Skype session!! I felt like I was right there with them. Also, I did some manual driving with Nikki. I did some hill starts (fairly flawlessly, might I add) and drove about 11 miles (17 km) around some nearby suburbs to different shops and things, which is about 45 minutes of driving with all the stop and go and parking. Throughout the whole driving session I didn't stall at all, nobody honked at me, I hit 5th gear, and there were few if any bunny hops. For the first time Nikki didn't watch the road the whole time. She was confident enough in my driving to mess with some cords and her phone and such. I honestly was pretty darn proud of myself at the end of the driving session and my confidence in my abilities are way up. It's interesting though, because this morning was the first time I had actually prayed over my driving confidence, abilities, etc and it is the best I've done and the most confident I've felt. Coincidence? I think not. It's proof that God cares about the small things that matter to us.
     During our little outing we went to a Discount Lollie Shop and I bought some Wild Berry (purple bag) Skittles because in the regular stores here you can usually only find the Original (red bag) flavor. Also, while at this shop I found some American products like Cap'n'Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, Pop Tarts, etc. The prices? Outrageous!!! And those are 12 packs of soda, a 6 pack of poptarts, and regular size boxes of cereal.

     While out, we also went to a bakery. Melbourne seems to have a lot of two things that people go to often - cafes and bakeries. We bought lunch and dessert at a bakery, which felt normal to Nikki, but super cool to me. Back home people just don't go to bakeries to buy lunch. Not to mention, there is only one bakery back home that I can think of. We got these big, fluffy roll things and mine had cheese and tomato, but you could get them with cheese and bacon or other stuff. It was pretty much a super bready pizza that tasted absolutely amazing. And for dessert we got Finger Buns, which I had also never heard of, but it is pretty much a bun/roll with icing on top and mine had coconut but you could get sprinkles or other things as well (my dad would approve). Again, super yummy. I'm really kind of digging this whole bakery thing. Not sure how good it is for my weight management, but oh well! I ate lunch with Nikki and Louise and we had a nice chat.
     Around 1:30 I was back home and wanted to just do a quick check of my facebook and move on with my day, but my emotions had other plans. When I got on facebook there were pictures of My Hopie at a football game. She looked absolutely naturally gorgeous and was all smiles. I immediately had tears down my face. Part of me was happy to see her so clearly happy, the other part of me longed to be with her enjoying life, seeing her smile in person, hearing her laughter, feeling her hugs. I went through the pictures more times than I could count, just thanking God for giving her happiness and asking him to comfort my heart. It was at that moment that I figured out what it meant when people say, "I miss them so much it hurts". For some reason, whenever I talk about her to the people here the emotions just come bubbling up to the top and tears come to my eyes. Even as I write this I can't help but cry. This little girl here (I don't know why I call her little when she is turning 10 in 2 weeks and is up to my shoulders):

 means the absolute world to me. There just aren't words to explain...
     After this, which happened downstairs (luckily no one was around) I went upstairs for some more Bible study time, which turned into thinking time, which turned into crying time. I was just flooded with this huge sense of lack of physical affection. I Skyped with my whole family in the morning which contributed to this feeling. Also, I'm used to daily hugs and snuggles from my family and close friends, but I haven't had that in a month and a half. I mean at the least we would be sitting next to each other on the couch, but I often find myself sitting alone or separated from the others. It's hard to watch everyone here get hugs and things from their family and good friends. Also, although everyone here is beyond amazing and although I just met them all a month ago, it seems like it's been much longer, we still don't know each other "like that". Unfortunately with the time difference it was the middle of the early early morning back home, so I couldn't even call to talk with anyone, which made it even harder. It's also hard because here, if I cry, the family and/or kids would be able to hear me so I really had to try and hold it in or stifle it. Eventually I decided crying wasn't going to fix or change the situation so I sucked it up, wiped my tears, blew my nose, fixed my makeup, brushed my hair and went downstairs for dinner. After dinner I came back upstairs to do some blogging and youtube video watching and then turned in for the night.

Sunday: Woke up ready to start a new day and excited for church (as always! but this time more excited than usual because I knew a hug was waiting for me there - Georgina knew about my needing a hug and told me there'd be one waiting for me at church). At church I got my hug and a bonus one!! Amazing! Seriously the first real hug I've had since I've been here. People underestimate the power of a hug, but for someone like me, it means a lot. The church service was wonderful, but afterwards in the foyer I was seeing all these children with their parents and feelings from Saturday started coming back up again. Luckily I was able to suck it all back in and focus on something else. When I got home after church the extended family was just leaving from Father's Day brunch and the kids were playing outside, so I got to have a fairly quiet lunch and some time on the computer. By the time the family was ready to leave for Father's Day afternoon tea at the grandmother's house I was ready for a nap, so it worked out perfectly. Since the house was empty, I got my first amazing, solid sleep in this house. A 1.5 hour solid nap. Afterwards I went out to a cafe with some of the girls from church, which was a super nice time. I came home to children in bed, which was perfect timing. I spent some time chatting with Jen and Daniel and afterwards they offered me tomorrow off (paid) and of course I said yes. Then I went up to my room to make plans for tomorrow, the coming weekend, blog, and catch up on a tv show from back home.

So, other than needing hugs and longing to be with My Hopie, this weekend was absolutely wonderful. It was filled with time off, family, "family", friends, God, good food, new skills, and some exploration of Melbourne. I knew this feeling would come sooner or later because I experienced it while in college, but this time around is harder since it can't be quickly/easily remedied. I'm just trusting God to fill the void and comfort my heart. In the meantime I'm working on getting out and about, making friends, and exploring the city that God has brought me to.