Leaving Home

Not flying out until 5:15pm made my leaving day so much more relaxed and easier to handle. It gave me extra time with my family and let me leisurely finish packing. My Munkie snuggled me for the past few nights like she knew I was leaving soon and because she's my baby I shed a few tears when snuggling her and telling her all the things a mama tells her kitty before she has to leave her for a long time, but other than that I haven't cried today. This doesn't mean that I haven't wanted to cry or that I haven't almost cried, I just wouldn't let the tears spill over the edge. I did this partly for my mom, because I know if I cried she would and that wasn't the last thing I wanted to see. I also did this for myself though. Yes, I know, we have emotions for a reason, but I am trying to remain in a positive mindset about going back. I’m reminding myself of everything I've seen and already done and everything that is to come in the next 6 months, reminding myself of the amazing people God has placed there in Melbourne for me that have done nothing but show me His love these past 10 months and I can't wait to continue spending time with them and growing with them, reminding myself that I am never alone because He is with me and He has my entire journey already planned out and this is part of that journey (and honestly, if it is something God planned, then I'm all for it), reminding myself that if I'm not in Melbourne with my host family then I can't continue to plant the seeds of Jesus' love for them, and reminding myself (thanks to my little sister Beka) that this was a journey that began when I was very very young, a dream that started when I was 10, and a reality that began just a short 11 months ago and I would forever, deeply regret it if I didn't continue forward, finish off this journey, and see what else was in store.

So... am I sad about leaving home? You betcha!!! But am I excited about seeing, hugging, and hanging out with all my favorite Australians? Am I excited about going on more adventures and making memories that will go with me for a lifetime? Am I excited about finding out what else it is that God has planned for me in my relationship with Him? You betcha!!! Mixed feelings can be frustrating, but they also keep you from breaking down entirely and can give you some perspective. Me and these mixed emotions are old friends so we're used to this push and pull, but in the end we always end up finding reasons to love whatever it is we're doing.

If you talked with me at all while I was home, you know about the hesitations I had about returning to Australia. These hesitations don’t mean I don’t love my Aussies or this opportunity, but it just means nothing will ever compare to home. As I was sitting on the plane waiting for everyone to board so we could depart I got this sudden, intense feeling of peace - the kind of peace that overwhelms you, that peace that has the ability to completely settle your heart, mind, and spirit. Everything immediately felt right, felt like this is what I’m supposed to be doing right now at this moment, and that this is all part of His plan. From then on there was nothing but peace and excitement in my heart about returning to Melbourne for the next 6 months. This doesn’t mean that if I think about my kitty or laughing with my mom or sleepovers with my favorites that some sadness doesn’t come to the surface, but it does mean that I am very grateful for this opportunity and the blessings that God has placed here in Melbourne for me in the form of people and that I am very excited about the last leg of journey.

I am so beyond thankful for all of the time I got at home and for each and every person I saw and talked to. I love you all and will cherish what little (or lot) of time we got together as I work through missing home at various times over the next 6 months. I hope you will all continue to follow me and go on this journey with me, because it isn't over yet!!!