Rama's Hospital Saga

While I was still in Australia my 2nd mom was admitted into the hospital. I hated that I couldn't be there for my little sisters. Getting updates was also hard with the time difference. She had just come home from the hospital 2-3 days before I came home. I came home on the 10th, saw them on the 11th. I got to spend time chatting with them a bit and catching up. By the 15th she was back in the hospital. I found this out as I was driving home from Greensboro (a 45 minute drive) and I got a call from my oldest little sister (Rebeka) telling me about it and then asking me if I could come stay with them for the night. Of course I said yes. I wasn't there for them the first time around and I was so thankful I could be there for them this time around. I still had the 45 minute drive ahead of me, I was falling asleep, and I still had to stop at my house to pack up a few things before going over there, but I was going to be there. I got to their house and we stayed up and chatted for quite some time then turned in for the night. I had breakfast with my youngest little sister (Amanda), had a quick chat with the girls, and then left as they left for school.

Later this same day I got a call from my Rama (2nd mom) thanking me for staying with the girls the night before and then asked if I could stay again tonight. She apologized, but I told her not to and just to worry about herself and I had the girls. Again, I couldn't come until late due to other commitments, but that wasn't an issue. When I arrived, they were both in bed, but Amanda left me a sweet note. I saw them in the morning and again left as they left for school. That same night Rama came home from the hospital. As she was recovering I was able to stop over at the house and spend some time one-on-one with her chatting and going through my scrapbook (which she had inspired me to get and do in the first place). The girls came home from school a little while later and I left shortly after that to go to my other commitments.

Late May she was then readmitted into the hospital AGAIN. I went and saw her in the hospital on June 5th. And that was the last time I saw her before I left on the 10th. Had I known that she would be in and out of the hospital so much I would have taken more time out of previous days to see her. The day before I was set to leave I sat on the floor packing texting with Rebeka about what the plans were for the day as I was going to come see them. I couldn't help but cry the whole time we were texting because as badly as I wanted to see everyone, I didn't want to see my Rama in the state she was... the way I saw her in the hospital was enough. I knew if I didn't go I would regret not seeing her, but I knew if I went I would be upset, so either way was a lose situation. Thinking about leaving without saying a proper "see-you-later" immediately sent me into tears. I couldn't help but think about how none of this really went as I had imagined when it came to spending time with my 2nd family while I was home. I realize how selfish this sounds considering Rebeka had her prom and high school graduation among all this, considering my 2nd dad and my little sisters were the ones who were there morning and night helping out, and considering Robin is the one who had to actually put up with the pain, the in and out of the hospital, the tiredness, the failed surgeries, etc. But none of that changed how much I love my Rama and was just hoping for some significantly special time with her while I was home.

In the end I decided not to go and instead Rebeka came and saw me, which ended up being a nice time with her. Now that I'm back in Australia and have been for 2, almost 3, weeks I am finally able to think about my 2nd family without crying and I am finally able to write these series of blogs of my time with them without crying. I think the turning point was a Skype session I had with my little sisters and Rama a couple days ago. My Rama looked so much more like herself - healthy skin, hair done, more energy, smiling, etc. This was the image I needed before I could be okay with everything that had happened. I just needed to see her back to normalish so I could be assured it would all be okay and when I come home in December that I will actually get that special time I was hoping for. While all this hospital stuff sucks... I'm glad I was home for most of it, especially for my little sisters.